(www.sass-pants.com) — This is always an interesting time of year for me because I don’t celebrate holidays. I’m not going to get into my religious reasons for it right now (though we can talk about that later if you want), but I feel a need to assert, if only to hear myself say it, that not doing Halloween, Christmas, or any other holiday does not make me a total freak.
In fact, maybe it’s time to think about what you’re actually doing. Like Halloween, for instance. You’re hanging what’s supposed to represent dead bodies from the trees in your front yard, decorating your home with fake cobwebs and fake blood and who knows what else, and then dressing up your children in bizarre and often disgusting and age-inappropriate costumes before encouraging them to take candy from strangers. Yeah, that makes sense. Way to be consistent. And SANE, for that matter.
And Christmas? You’re killing a tree only to drag it into your house and make it look NOT like a tree by draping hideous, shiny, blinking things all over it — which are all fire hazards, btw — and killing yourself to buy crap for people you care about (or at least people whom you think are going to buy crap for you), including your children, to whom you are blatantly lying about the existence of a creepy fat man who watches them at all times and routinely breaks into your home.
Do we really think these things are NORMAL? Seriously? Just because they’re commonly accepted doesn’t mean they’re not nuts. So if I choose to treat October 31 or December 25 as just another day, please don’t give me a hard time about it, tell me I’m no fun, or try to talk me into doing loony things with you so you feel less crazy.
Contents Copyright © 2008 Kristen King
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Just tell them you celebrate every day because life is a precious gift. If that doesn’t work, flip them off. LOL
@Lori, I usually say something about not needing one day a year to show people that I love them because I like to do it all year round, and I’d rather buy a gift or prepare a special meal as a surprise and because I want to out of obligation. Sometimes I just smile and say, “To each his own.” It depends. But in my mind, I say, “Have fun pulling your hair out on December 24. I’ll be relaxing in a bubble bath without a care in the world.”
LOL. Put like that, celebrating the holidays does sound crazy.
Damaria Senne’s last blog post..I love Sandy, my fantabulous virtual assistant
Admin Note: Edited to trim the lyrics. Don’t want to be getting sued for copyright infringement, now! Ellipses represent deletions. Find the whole song here: http://www.metrolyrics.com/weasel-stomping-day-lyrics-weird-al-yankovic.html -kk
Weird Al did a song that is soooo apropos when it comes to the ‘holidays.’ It’s kind of ‘graphic’ and cruel, but when you listen to the whole thing and put it in context with what people do it kind of hits the nail right on the head:
Faces filled with joy and cheer
What a magical time of year
Howdy Ho! It’s Weasel Stomping Day
…
All the little girls and boys
Love that wonderful crunching noise
You’ll know what this day’s about
When you stomp a weasel’s guts right out
…
So let the stomping fun begin
Bash their weasely skulls right in
It’s tradition, that makes it okay
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8710797866388017148
@Damaria Senne, doesn’t it though?
@MIKCTR, Ick, ick, ick! The lyrics are bad, but the video is worse. All of the crunching and squishing sounds. EWWW. But a perfect example of what I was talking about. Thanks for sharing.
Yeah… gross… But think about it! People may not be stomping weasles (I think they’re rather cute, myself…), but can people actually say they KNOW what they’re doing – or even why they’re doing it – when they participate in all the ‘festivities’ of a holiday? There are probably only a couple answers: Yes, and they’re going to do it anyway; No, they’re just doing it because…. well…. BECAUSE! “It’s tradition, THAT makes it ok.” LOL (Has anyone researched what their five-year-olds are doing when they’re dancing around the Maypole…? If it is no longer seen as a firtility ritual, what IS it seen as and really, why are they dancing around a pole in the spring anyway…. seriously….
Put your Viking helmets on! Spread that mayonase on the lawn! ROFL