Comments on: Are You the Kind of Spouse You’d Like to Be Married To?

By: MIKCTR

MIKCTR — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 18:06:03 +0000

I’m proud to have KK as a friend ) (you too, Jesse!!! ) (ok…. you too, Pickles, Ty, Murphy and cats (you guys aren’t around long enough to keep up with your names!))

By: Jesse

Jesse — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 02:47:56 +0000

Kristen, I dont know how many times I have to tell you, please stop posting on my computer
Love you

By: Advice for Marriage, Relationships, Business, and Life in General - Kristen King — Kristen King

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 17:23:20 +0000

[...] so obnoxious is that it’s all about them and never about the solution or making peace. (Note: I have been one of these people and am currently breaking out of that pattern.) When you screw up, admit it and move on. When [...]

By: Kristen King

Kristen King — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 15:39:18 +0000

Thank you all so much for your comments. It’s hard to step back and take responsibility for the changes we need to make in our own lives, which is why I wanted to share this with you all. Just because something’s hard doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing!

Kim, that is awesome advice. I will be sure to repeat it when I post again on this topic.

Jesse, I’m just trying to be the kind of wife you deserve. Glad it seems to be working! Love you, too.

By: ClumberKim

ClumberKim — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 13:38:47 +0000

Good timing on this. I have been feeling increased resentment towards my marriage. “I gave up soooo much….” blah blah blah whine whine whine. It really needs to stop. I am very conflict avoidant, and my husband is even more so. We have never had a fight, but that means it all just builds up inside of us. Hard to have a communication problem when you don’t communicate! Thanks for giving me a lot to think about it.

Here’s some advice someone shared with me before I got married. “When you’re wrong, admit it. When you’re right, shut up.” I do better when I remember it.

By: Jesse

Jesse — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 05:07:26 +0000

I do have the best wife, hands down. I am willing to challenge anyone, just let me know. I love you honey.

By: Jacqueline Church

Jacqueline Church — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 04:37:10 +0000

Interesting – one lesson I learned from a date who turned out not to be so nice after all (see we can learn valuable things everywhere) – was the one about disagreements. Seek not to win, seek to understand. It’s so useful.

The other one I try to remember is to give first, not keep score. Too often we fall into saving our polite selves, our gracious selves for the outside world, then assume the person who we share our lives with must be willing to accept the dregs that are left when we’ve spent all day being nice elsewhere. Doesn’t the person we love most deserve as much as the annoying client or the dysfunctional boss? Ask what they need, not what they will do for your needs.

If you’ve picked the right person and try to build healthy ways of being together, none of these things are onerous. None are fraught with worry.

I commend you for sharing this with us. I hope you’ve shared it with him. Here’s to you, your husband and the future!

By: Tricia

Tricia — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 04:14:21 +0000

Great, honest post. Unfortunately it really resonated with me — especially regarding my behavior lately. It’s so easy to get comfortable in ritual and taking someone for granted, and not think about your actions and words every day.

By: Cheryl Smith

Cheryl Smith — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 02:16:43 +0000

Wow Kristen! I so appreciate your honesty and transparency here. If we’re honest, I expect many of us would find ourselves in the same place – thinking we’re the ones who lucked out. Or maybe it’s just you and me. At either rate, well written (I’d expect no less) exploration of a difficult subject.