Can someone please explain this to me? I’m seeing it everywhere, but I don’t get it: Women who identify themselves, and people they purportedly like, as “bitches.” You call women you don’t like, women who offend and anger you, “bitches.” Why on Earth would you want to call yourself “bitch”? Why would you want to call someone you like and respect “bitch”?
From Merriam-Webster:
Main Entry: bitch
Pronunciation: \ˈbich\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English bicche, from Old English bicce
Date: before 12th century1: the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals
2 a: a lewd or immoral woman b: a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse
3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant
4: complaint
From Wikipedia:
Bitch is a term for the female of a canine species in general. It is also frequently used as a term for a malicious, spiteful, domineering, intrusive, or unpleasant person, especially a woman. This second meaning has been in use since around 1400. When used to describe a male, it may also confer the meaning of “subordinate”, especially to another male, as in prison. Generally, this term is used to indicate that the person is acting outside the confines of their gender roles, such as when women are assertive or aggressive, or when men are passive or servile. More recent variants of bitch are bitchy, ill-tempered (1925), and to bitch, to complain (1930).
The word “bitch” has long been in use to refer to a woman in contempt, as shown in an 1811 dictionary which describes bitch as “the most offensive appellation that can be given to an English woman, even more provoking than that of whore.”
Also worth checking out: the Urban Dictionary entry on “bitch.” The synonyms and related words at the top tell an interesting story, if you ask me.
So why would a woman call herself “bitch,” refer to her friends as “my bitches,” or ever let a man call her “his bitch”?
Evidently it’s an effect of “third-wave feminism” and a movement toward reclaiming derogatory and pejorative terms:
Words such as spinster, bitch, whore, and cunt continue to be used in derogatory ways to demean women. Inga Muscio writes, “I posit that we’re free to seize a word that was kidnapped and co-opted in a pain-filled, distant, past, with a ransom that cost our grandmothers’ freedom, children, traditions, pride, and land.” Third-wave feminists believe it is better to change the meaning of a sexist word than to censor it from speech.
Many of these words did not originally have their modern connotations of power. For example, the English word cunt, which is commonly used as a pejorative, is a derivative of the Germanic word “kunton” meaning “female genitalia.” Over time the word has become both a pejorative and a marker of femininity. The words bitch and whore developed in a similar fashion.
You can talk to me about reclaiming words until you’re blue in the face and I still don’t buy it. The swastika used to be a good luck symbol and a religious image until Hitler used it to represent the Nazi party. Should I wear clothes with swastikas on them and just assure horrified passersby that I’m reclaiming it? Should I start calling black people “niggas” because I’m reclaiming “nigger”? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
How about teaching people respect instead? How about not demeaning your fellow women by using offensive terms “to empower them”? I do not find it empowering to be called or to call someone else “bitch” or “cunt.” I find it offensive. In fact, I think that calling ourselves and other women “bitch” and other offensive terms is a form of self-loathing, and I think we need to stop it. I don’t think I should have to call myself “bitch” before someone else does so I can say, “I reclaimed it.” Embracing the label reinforces its use and makes it acceptable and that’s not okay. I don’t think there should be anything pejorative about speaking your mind, asserting yourself, or having an opinion.
To that end, I took a romp through the internet to see how women are using “bitch” to describe themselves. If you pay a visit to Heartless Bitches International, you’ll find that they’re not exactly doing anything to ameliorate the term. The Bitch Girls Blog seems to preach imply say that having an opinion of any sort makes a woman a bitch, and the author dubbed herself “Bitter.” Gee, that’s appealing. I’ve met The Daily Bitch and Angry Black Bitch and found them both to be articulate, interesting, atractive, and clever, and am baffled as to why they would give themselves such an unkind label. Then I found Bitch PhD and again found smart women with a lot to say. And then we have Bitch magazine, whose title and tagline, “Feminist Response to Pop Culture,” together seem to imply that opinions of any sort other than “I like baking and raising babies, I do declare” are equal to bitchiness.
Why do we need to hide behind the label of “bitch” to feel okay with expressing opinions — or to slap it on others to make them feel like they shouldn’t express theirs? When are we going to stop being “bitches” and just be women?
NB: A version of this post previously appeared on the now-defunct BizChicksRule.com in 2008. In light of the recent Dr. Laura “N-word” controversy and the ensuing explosion of discussion around the power of derogatory language, I thought it was worth reposting. Different word, same concept.
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I am SO with you on this. While working in a 100% female workplace, my office-mates often referred to themselves as bitches and wore the label with pride. I got tired of how this became an excuse for nasty behavior and wondered when they’d get over their bad selves and simply evolve into a decent person again. They didn’t. I quit.
Kristin,
Well stated and I couldn’t agree more. I never understood any culture/group/race/gender laying claim to a derogatory term to refer to themselves. Instead of taking “ownership” of the term under the auspices of making it so that it can’t be used “against” them, they’re using it against themselves to perpetuate whatever the stereotype is that’s associated with the word. Personally, I find that equally as ignorant and intolerant as the original intention of the word.
Bitch is not just a bad word. Bitch in todays world is used to describe a women who has power, who is not focusing on anyone else but herself and her own personal gain. Personally, I find that the word bitch is drasticly changing from an insult and is almost a modern day word for flapper. Those who take it as an insult have their rights to, but try and look at it from a broader perspective with the modern age. Women are geting more and more power, and with that power men become more envious and more upset at the fact women are giving them a run for their money. I am in college and doing an essay on the evolution of words and i was looking on more information on the word bitch and came into this website and i thought it would be cool to put my 2 cents in, im not really trying to argue rather just bring up a new point of view.
I loved this. I am actually writing my senior thesis on why women call themselves bad bitches. Why does having the word bad in front of the word change its meaning.
I dated a woman just yesterday and right at the end of the date she said “I can be a bitch, just ask my daughter or so and so”. To me she was stating that I get what I want and I have the power to say what I want. It also told me that I don’t want to date her again. Not because she can call herself that but more because of the conviction she had as she said it and what trouble could be in store in the future. A relationship is supposed to be built on mutual understanding not one forcing their beliefs on the other all because they call themself a bitch.
Attention women. This is not attractive to men. AT ALL.
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