I gotta be honest here. No matter how many times you tell me that affirmative action and quotas in hiring and school admissions are a good idea, I will never agree. “But aren’t you for equality?” Of course I am. “Don’t you want things to be fair?” Well, yeah, duh. But the only way hiring — or anything else, for that matter — will ever be completely equitable is for people to give no regard whatsoever to race or sex and focus solely on the credentials of the applicant.

Before we go further into this topic, let’s take care of the elephant in the room. I am a 28-year-old, well-educated, white woman from a middle-class background. I grew up in a two-parent home in a relatively safe, rural community, and atttended small schools where I received a lot of personal attention. In short, I’ve had a lot of advantages.

Quota-based acceptance rates are often geared toward supporting those who haven’t had the same advantages I have, but this isn’t about keeping down the other guy. The central reason is that I don’t think they actually do anything positive for the other guy — or for me, or for anyone at all. In fact, I think they make things worse. Here’s why. [click to continue…]

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Calling Yourself “Bitch” Is NOT Empowerment

by Kristen King on August 24, 2010

Can someone please explain this to me? I’m seeing it everywhere, but I don’t get it: Women who identify themselves, and people they purportedly like, as “bitches.” You call women you don’t like, women who offend and anger you, “bitches.” Why on Earth would you want to call yourself “bitch”? Why would you want to call someone you like and respect “bitch”?

From Merriam-Webster:

Main Entry: bitch
Pronunciation: \ˈbich\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English bicche, from Old English bicce
Date: before 12th century

1: the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals
2 a: a lewd or immoral woman b: a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse
3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant
4: complaint

From Wikipedia:

Bitch is a term for the female of a canine species in general. It is also frequently used as a term for a malicious, spiteful, domineering, intrusive, or unpleasant person, especially a woman. This second meaning has been in use since around 1400. When used to describe a male, it may also confer the meaning of “subordinate”, especially to another male, as in prison. Generally, this term is used to indicate that the person is acting outside the confines of their gender roles, such as when women are assertive or aggressive, or when men are passive or servile. More recent variants of bitch are bitchy, ill-tempered (1925), and to bitch, to complain (1930).

The word “bitch” has long been in use to refer to a woman in contempt, as shown in an 1811 dictionary which describes bitch as “the most offensive appellation that can be given to an English woman, even more provoking than that of whore.”

Also worth checking out: the Urban Dictionary entry on “bitch.” The synonyms and related words at the top tell an interesting story, if you ask me.

So why would a woman call herself “bitch,” refer to her friends as “my bitches,” or ever let a man call her “his bitch”? [click to continue…]

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Parentheses and Terminal Punctuation

April 19, 2010

The last six weeks of my life have been punctuated by awkward phone calls full of bad news, visits to one hospital after another, and sleepless nights on uncomfortable chairs in sterile rooms. Although my family has been historically pretty healthy, we’ve been dropping like flies lately. My current illness, a particularly persistent cold that’s [...]

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The Year I Grew Up and Other Stories

March 19, 2010

I will forever remember 27 as the year I finally grew up — and not just because it was the last year I could legitimately describe myself as being in my “mid-twenties.”
When I was a kid, I looked forward to middle school because those 12- and 13-year-old girls just really seemed to have it together. [...]

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Rant Part 2 of 3: NO – You DON’T Deserve it

September 17, 2009

I’m worried that you may be missing out. This is important, and it could change your life, so listen up:
You “deserve” anything you give so much as a passing thought to — and even stuff you may not have thought of at all.
If you want that new television, go ahead and buy it even if [...]

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Rant Part 1: YES – If You’re Fat, You Need to Lose Weight

August 5, 2009

No wonder Americans are so fat: Popular culture and advertising keep telling us day in and day out that we don’t need to take responsibility for any of our actions and we’re fine just the way we are, and people are believing this crap.
Example: More to Love, FOX Broadcasting Company, Tuesdays at 9ET/8CT
The official description [...]

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Tomorrows and Yesterdays

July 31, 2009

Last night I watched Gone With the Wind for what I later realized was the first time in at least six and a half years. I discerned this fact while trying to analyze why I bawled through virtually the whole thing. For a movie I’ve seen at least a dozen times, that struck me as [...]

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An Open Letter to the Rude Teenage Boy at the Kings Dominion Wave Pool on Being a Real Man

July 29, 2009

Dear Rude Boy:
If you hadn’t crashed into my sister-in-law and me multiple times in the wave pool this weekend, I wouldn’t have said anything. I know what it’s like to splash around and have fun with your friends, and sometimes you get distracted and bump into someone. I get that. But when you do it [...]

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The Best Advice I’ve Ever Received — Insight for Marriage, Friendship, Business, and Daily Interaction With Strangers

July 23, 2009

I’ve been on a self-improvement kick of late and have been taking a hard look at myself and my life. Something that keeps coming back to me are excellent pieces of advice I’ve received over the years.

“Just because someone has a lesson to learn doesn’t mean you have to teach it to him.”
“Do what needs [...]

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Are You the Kind of Spouse You’d Like to Be Married To?

July 23, 2009

Love is not a feeling you have, but the conscious choices you make actions you take every day regardless of how you feel. Our fifth anniversary is just around the corner, and I just realized I have not been loving my husband. Now what?

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