Culture

Obama’s a Muslim, O’Donnell’s a Witch, and America Has Too Much Time on its Collective Hands

September 24, 2010

The last several months have seen more than a little interest in the beliefs and activities of political figures, an occurrence that frankly stymies me. The first flap was over whether President Barack Obama is Christian or Muslim, the second around Delaware Republican Senate candidate’s 1999 admission that she “dabbled” in witchcraft in high school. [...]

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Quota Schmota: Why Race- and Sex-Based Hiring Guidelines Are NOT the Answer

August 31, 2010

I gotta be honest here. No matter how many times you tell me that affirmative action and quotas in hiring and school admissions are a good idea, I will never agree. “But aren’t you for equality?” Of course I am. “Don’t you want things to be fair?” Well, yeah, duh. But the only way hiring [...]

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Calling Yourself “Bitch” Is NOT Empowerment

August 24, 2010

You can talk to me about reclaiming words until you’re blue in the face and I still don’t buy it. The swastika used to be a good luck symbol and a religious image until Hitler used it to represent the Nazi party. Should I wear clothes with swastikas on them and just assure horrified passersby that I’m reclaiming it? Should I start calling black people “niggas” because I’m reclaiming “nigger”? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

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Parentheses and Terminal Punctuation

April 19, 2010

The last six weeks of my life have been punctuated by awkward phone calls full of bad news, visits to one hospital after another, and sleepless nights on uncomfortable chairs in sterile rooms. Although my family has been historically pretty healthy, we’ve been dropping like flies lately. My current illness, a particularly persistent cold that’s [...]

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Rant Part 2 of 3: NO – You DON’T Deserve it

September 17, 2009

I’m worried that you may be missing out. This is important, and it could change your life, so listen up: You “deserve” anything you give so much as a passing thought to — and even stuff you may not have thought of at all. If you want that new television, go ahead and buy it [...]

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Rant Part 1: YES – If You’re Fat, You Need to Lose Weight

August 5, 2009

No wonder Americans are so fat: Popular culture and advertising keep telling us day in and day out that we don’t need to take responsibility for any of our actions and we’re fine just the way we are, and people are believing this crap. Example: More to Love, FOX Broadcasting Company, Tuesdays at 9ET/8CT The [...]

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An Open Letter to the Rude Teenage Boy at the Kings Dominion Wave Pool on Being a Real Man

July 29, 2009

Dear Rude Boy: If you hadn’t crashed into my sister-in-law and me multiple times in the wave pool this weekend, I wouldn’t have said anything. I know what it’s like to splash around and have fun with your friends, and sometimes you get distracted and bump into someone. I get that. But when you do [...]

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Attn: Idiots — “Reverse Racism” Doesn’t Mean What You Think it Does

May 28, 2009

(http://kristenking.com) — The flap surrounding President Barack Obama’s nomination of Hispanic female Judge Sonia Sotomayor (who remarked, “I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life,” almost 10 years ago) to the [...]

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What Happens When You Can’t Bring Yourself to Say No to the Makeup Counter Lady Who Desperately Wants to Give You a “Smokey Eye”

April 4, 2009

(www.sass-pants.com) — I had no idea that trying on that turquoise eye shadow would lead to THIS. Thanks, persistent makeup counter girl with the unpronounceable name. I now look like a cheap whore who was attacked by a peacock, and my husband can’t stop laughing. Said my friend Betsy, who was there with me, “It [...]

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Dear American Idol: Just Because Scott MacIntyre Is Blind Doesn’t Mean You Can Get Away With Dressing Him Funny And Making His Hair Crazy

April 1, 2009

(www.sass-pants.com) — Really, folks, someone is going to tell him sooner or later. Hopefully sooner. This week, Scott MacIntyre’s hair was some bizarre kind of cross between Ryan Seacrest and a labradoodle. Last week, they put him in pink corduroys, a pink and green paisley shirt, and a brown pinstriped jacket. Jesse and I had [...]

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