My Dogs Are Morons and My Garage Smells Like Pee

June 5, 2009

(http://kristenking.com) —The dog owners among you have probably extrapolated that the garage smells like pee because the dogs are morons. It’s been raining for days, and rather than go outside in the yard like good dogs, like the well-mannered dogs they’re supposed to be, one or both of the big dogs has taken to peeing [...]

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Dog Disasters: Today’s Episode of “Things the Dogs Destroyed or Ate” — A 30-lb Bag of Dog Food and 9 Rolls of Paper Towels

March 4, 2009

(www.meowbarkblog.com) — I’m either a glutton for punishment or just slow on the uptake, because I thought I could run out to the post office for a few minutes the other day without worrying about the dogs making some kind of mess. We don’t let them loose in the house when we leave anymore because [...]

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Dog Disasters — Today’s Episode of “Things the Dogs Destroyed or Ate”: A 2.5-lb Box of Chocolates

January 8, 2009

(www.meowbarkblog.com) — I got a frantic call from my husband today while I was pulling into the chiropractor’s parking lot about 35 minutes from our house. (I need adjustments 3x/week for the next 4 weeks thanks to my recent car accident.)
“The alarm is going off at the house!”
“Well, I’m at the doctor and I won’t [...]

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Dog Disasters — Today’s Episode of “Things the Dogs Destroyed or Ate”: 10 lbs. of Flour

January 2, 2009

(www.meowbarkblog.com) — We came home from visiting family last night to find a white explosion all over the kitchen and living room. We should have known better than to leave the flour on the counter in preparation for tonight’s fried chicken dinner. But honestly, what is appealing about 10 lbs of flour? The world may [...]

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Mastiff Mayhem: Zen and the Art of Counter-Surfing

December 4, 2008

(www.meowbarkblog.com) — Oh boy, oh boy, the dogs learned a new trick! It’s called “jump up on the counter and eat stuff they have no business eating and then shred the evidence all over the house so no one can prove nuttin’.” It’s totally precious. Except for NOT.
About two weeks ago, I came home from [...]

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Mastiff Mayhem — Today’s Episode of “Things Murphy Destroyed or Ate”: My Glasses Case

September 16, 2008

(www.meowbarkblog.com) — It’s been a while since we had an episode of “Things Murphy Destroyed or Ate,” so it was about time for him to ruin something. And ruin it he did.
This used to be my glasses case:

From what I can glean from the crime scene, one of the cats knocked the case to the [...]

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Mastiff Mayhem — Today’s Episode of “Things Murphy Destroyed or Ate”: A Framed Photo of the Dogs

February 15, 2008

Well, if this isn’t irony, I don’t know what is. I came home from being gone maybe an hour, and found the house in utter disarray.
Now, before I get into the details, it’s important to point out that with as well as things have been going since Bark Busters came, we’ve started leaving the dogs [...]

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Mastiff Mayhem — Today’s Episode of “Things Murphy Destroyed or Ate”: Electronics

November 18, 2007

(www.meowbarkblog.com) — We’ve opened a new chapter in our ongoing discussion of what my English mastiff puppy, Murphy has ruined. Several weeks ago, he appropriated the cordless phone, which Jesse had left on the coffee table. After hearing crunching sounds, Jesse raced in to find the slobbery phone cracked and chewed, but still functional. He [...]

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Mastiff Mayhem — Today’s Episode of “Things Murphy Destroyed or Ate”: Prescription Drugs

October 15, 2007

When Jesse started freaking out, I didn’t know what was going on. “Kristen, come here RIGHT NOW!” he hollered from the kitchen. I dropped everything and ran to him, but skidded to a stop when I saw Murphy lying on the floor looking googly-eyed and Jesse whitefaced, holding an empty, chewed-up up prescription bottle with [...]

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