From the category archives:

Culture

Rant Part 2 of 3: NO – You DON’T Deserve it

by Kristen King on September 17, 2009

I’m worried that you may be missing out. This is important, and it could change your life, so listen up:

You “deserve” anything you give so much as a passing thought to — and even stuff you may not have thought of at all.

If you want that new television, go ahead and buy it even if you can’t afford it! Don’t worry, they offer no-interest financing for 12 months. And by the time your first payment is due, maybe someone will magically offer to pay for it on your behalf. Same thing with the dream house that’s way out of your price range. You deserve it, so don’t take no for an answer

See that ridiculously oversized meal that’s new at Arb McWendkingway? All 4,000 calories of it? Get it, baby. You don’t need to sully your incredibly worthy hands by actually preparing a meal. And of course don’t worry about how unhealthy it is; you’re clearly entitled to excellent health no matter what you put into your body.

Oh, and that minor fender bender you were in a few weeks ago? The one that caused zero damage whatsoever? You deserve justice. Call your local ambulance chaser legal professional right away before someone else gets your money, because you are clearly the victim here.

By the way, you’re worth it. Whatever it is, you’re worth it.

You deserve everything, and if you don’t get what you want when you want it, you need to fight back against the people who are oppressing you. You are entitled, and you can’t let anyone take advantage of you by standing in your way.

Okay, enough of that. Let’s get real now. [click to continue…]

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No wonder Americans are so fat: Popular culture and advertising keep telling us day in and day out that we don’t need to take responsibility for any of our actions and we’re fine just the way we are, and people are believing this crap.

Example: More to Love, FOX Broadcasting Company, Tuesdays at 9ET/8CT

The official description from FOX:

Luke Conley is a 26-year-old former college football offensive lineman who stands 6′3″ and weighs over 300 pounds. He’s a successful sub-contractor and real estate investor who has his sights set on building a long-lasting relationship. Luke’s ideal woman is intelligent, passionate, down-to-earth, full-figured and comfortable in her own skin.

This eligible guy will have the chance to find the woman of his dreams when 20 voluptuous ladies vie for his heart. These unique women have careers ranging from waitress to teacher to lawyer to rocket scientist, but they all have one thing in common: They are also looking for love.

This brawny prince is searching for one curvy Cinderella to take on the romantic adventure of a lifetime. Throughout the course of his journey, Luke will wine and dine these women during romantic outings, where some will experience their first real dates. As Luke narrows the competition each week through emotional elimination ceremonies, he will be one step closer to finding the woman who is his perfect fit.

Watch the More to Love preview on YouTube

So apparently FOX thinks “real women” means fat women. And I guess I can understand that, because since well over half of Americans (64%!)  are overweight or obese according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC; source), it’s hard to find anyone, man or woman, who isn’t fat these days.

But here’s the thing: IT’S NOT GOOD TO BE FAT. It’s bad for you. And vilifying people who assert that overweight and obesity are bad while parading these poor women who clearly have zero self-esteem and would benefit from psychological intervention up in front of America isn’t doing anything to change that, nor could it. It’s just exploiting them and suggesting that viewers should feel sorry for fat people because they’re victims of a society that refuses to accept them. Um, no. [click to continue…]

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An Open Letter to the Rude Teenage Boy at the Kings Dominion Wave Pool on Being a Real Man

July 29, 2009

Dear Rude Boy:
If you hadn’t crashed into my sister-in-law and me multiple times in the wave pool this weekend, I wouldn’t have said anything. I know what it’s like to splash around and have fun with your friends, and sometimes you get distracted and bump into someone. I get that. But when you do it [...]

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Attn: Idiots — “Reverse Racism” Doesn’t Mean What You Think it Does

May 28, 2009

(http://kristenking.com) — The flap surrounding President Barack Obama’s nomination of Hispanic female Judge Sonia Sotomayor (who remarked, “I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life,” almost 10 years ago) to the [...]

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What Happens When You Can’t Bring Yourself to Say No to the Makeup Counter Lady Who Desperately Wants to Give You a “Smokey Eye”

April 4, 2009

(www.sass-pants.com) — I had no idea that trying on that turquoise eye shadow would lead to THIS. Thanks, persistent makeup counter girl with the unpronounceable name. I now look like a cheap whore who was attacked by a peacock, and my husband can’t stop laughing.

[...]

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Dear American Idol: Just Because Scott MacIntyre Is Blind Doesn’t Mean You Can Get Away With Dressing Him Funny And Making His Hair Crazy

April 1, 2009

(www.sass-pants.com) — Really, folks, someone is going to tell him sooner or later. Hopefully sooner.
This week, Scott MacIntyre’s hair was some bizarre kind of cross between Ryan Seacrest and a labradoodle. Last week, they put him in pink corduroys, a pink and green paisley shirt, and a brown pinstriped jacket.
Jesse and I had identical reactions:

“I [...]

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How Have I Never Bought Dishwasher Detergent?

March 24, 2009

(www.sass-pants.com) — We ran out of dishwasher detergent last week and I had this really bizarre realization: I’m 27 years old, on my second home, and have been out of my parents’ house for going on 9 years, yet I have never bought dishwasher detergent in my life.  
This is particularly strange because of the two [...]

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A “Politically Incorrect” Post About American Idol (or, Why Are We Still Listening to Blind Idol Contestant Scott MacIntyre Butcher Pop Music Each Week?)

March 23, 2009

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(www.sass-pants.com) — Is it because he’s blind? Is that it? Because the dude sucks, and I can’t figure out why he’s still on the show and now, God help us, the American Idol Season 8 Tour.
When they named him to the Top 13, I figured Scott MacIntyre would be the hands-down [...]

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To the Idiots Who Keep Throwing Trash out of Their Car(s) and onto My Property

March 22, 2009

(www.sass-pants.com)  
Dear Jerk:
Here’s a scenario I can understand: It’s a beautiful day , so you roll down the windows and, unbeknownst to you, a tissue or piece of paper in the back seat blows out the window.
Here’s a scenario I can’t understand: Same as above, except that, unbeknownst to you, the entire contents of your car [...]

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VIDEO: Lost Generation

March 4, 2009

(www.sass-pants.com) — Really neat video about current assumptions, future consequences, and what we can do about it.

Don’t forget to enter to win a limited-edition crystal Diet Coke Red Dress Pin, designed by Heidi Klum. Deadline is Friday!
Contents Copyright © 2009 Kristen King

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