My Dogs Are Morons and My Garage Smells Like Pee

June 5, 2009

(http://kristenking.com) —The dog owners among you have probably extrapolated that the garage smells like pee because the dogs are morons. It’s been raining for days, and rather than go outside in the yard like good dogs, like the well-mannered dogs they’re supposed to be, one or both of the big dogs has taken to peeing [...]

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Attn: Idiots — “Reverse Racism” Doesn’t Mean What You Think it Does

May 28, 2009

(http://kristenking.com) — The flap surrounding President Barack Obama’s nomination of Hispanic female Judge Sonia Sotomayor (who remarked, “I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life,” almost 10 years ago) to the [...]

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Adopt-A-Pet.com and Shepard Fairey Set to Unveil a Special Piece of Presidential Pet Adoption History

April 10, 2009

(www.meowbarkblog.com)
Release of special edition Shepard Fairey ADOPT print will mark historic significance of the presidential dog adoption and help continue to raise awareness for pet adoption nationwide
LOS ANGELES – APRIL 10, 2009 – Adopt-a-Pet.com, North America’s largest non-profit pet adoption website, and Artist Shepard Fairey have hope and faith in the Obamas’ commitment to adopting [...]

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For the Dead Bird I Found on the Patio Today

April 7, 2009

(www.meowbarkblog.com) — It caught me off guard when I looked outside and saw your broken body with perfect feathers rippling so slightly in the wind. I locked the dogs inside before I donned rubber gloves to investigate.
My breath stuck in my throat as I turned you over, bird, and saw the unfortunate angle of your [...]

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What Happens When You Can’t Bring Yourself to Say No to the Makeup Counter Lady Who Desperately Wants to Give You a “Smokey Eye”

April 4, 2009

(www.sass-pants.com) — I had no idea that trying on that turquoise eye shadow would lead to THIS. Thanks, persistent makeup counter girl with the unpronounceable name. I now look like a cheap whore who was attacked by a peacock, and my husband can’t stop laughing.

[...]

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Health Insurance Tips for the Unemployed or Under-Employed

April 3, 2009

(www.sass-pants.com) — Affordable health insurance is one of the biggest concerns for people facing layoffs or reductions in hours in this tough economy. I know that losing my husband’s benefits when he left his job was a big stressor for us, especially since I’m self-employed!
I recently had a chance to sit down with eHealthInsurance.com Vice [...]

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Pet Humor: You Known the Dogs Have Taken Over When…

April 1, 2009

(www.meowbarkblog.com) — It’s been a rough couple of weeks with the animals lately simply because we’re both very tired and busy right now. As the one who works exclusively from home, I’ve had the pleasure of bearing the brunt of the animal frustration these days.  
To get through it without selling anyone to the circus, I’ve [...]

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Pet News: Police Find More Cases of Animal Hoarding in TX and NJ

April 1, 2009

(www.meowbarkblog.com) — If you think we have a lot of pets at our house, prepare to have your mind blown. This isn’t quite as bad as the 800+ small dogs and parrots found in an Arizona home early last year, but it’s still pretty bad.
Police in Chester Township, New Jersey (just about 30 minutes from [...]

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Dear American Idol: Just Because Scott MacIntyre Is Blind Doesn’t Mean You Can Get Away With Dressing Him Funny And Making His Hair Crazy

April 1, 2009

(www.sass-pants.com) — Really, folks, someone is going to tell him sooner or later. Hopefully sooner.
This week, Scott MacIntyre’s hair was some bizarre kind of cross between Ryan Seacrest and a labradoodle. Last week, they put him in pink corduroys, a pink and green paisley shirt, and a brown pinstriped jacket.
Jesse and I had identical reactions:

“I [...]

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Pet Humor: 61 Things on My Cat — Video

March 30, 2009

(www.meowbarkblog.com) — Hat tip to Kim Woodbridge for finding this hilarious video, with a great song to boot.

Contents Copyright © 2009 Kristen King

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