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“Hurtin’ for Certain,” but at Least My Hands Have Stopped Shaking

January 2, 2009

(www.sass-pants.com) — I think it was God’s way of telling me that fast food really is bad for me. Okay, not really, but I won’t be swinging by the local McDonald’s for a snack again any time soon. When I stopped for a Big Mac Meal on Tuesday, I got in a car accident in [...]

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Friday, July 5, 1996, 12:04 a.m.

December 18, 2008

(www.sass-pants.com) — I recently rediscovered a stash of childhood journals, which include some laugh-out-loud entries. Like this one. Dear Journal, I just got back from the Lake Tranquility 4th of July party. The fireworks were awesome! I stayed afterward, until Daddy had finished cleaning up the display. C. and I hung out together, and she [...]

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McDonald’s, Whatever Happened to Food, Folks, and Fun?

December 8, 2008

(www.sass-pants.com) — When I was a kid, we frequently recorded movies off of television and watched the tapes over and over and over. As a result, I have eerily sharp memories surrounding “the magic of Minolta,” Secret Keepers, Sylvan soft white bulbs, Bill Cosby and Jell-O Pudding, and a creepy face in the carpet selling [...]

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Why I Think Our Recent Mail Solicitation Is a Hilarious Piece of Crap

December 7, 2008

(www.sass-pants.com) — In response to my post the other day about the random solicitation we accidentally received offering us the chance to “help feed an elderly Jewish person for just $2.40,” reader TSS shared the following comments: Bizarre, but why funny? Certainly not “priceless”… It’s worth exactly 2.40. What is the name of the soliciting [...]

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I Don’t Even Know What to Call This Post, I’m Laughing so Hard

December 4, 2008

(www.sass-pants.com) — If this isn’t the most random mail solicitation on the planet, I don’t know what is. It came today in my husband’s post office box. On the back of the envelope is a testimonial from Pat Robertson, so you know it’s gotta be good. [[snort]] But seriously, nothing can beat the front: “You [...]

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No, Not Even Thanksgiving

December 3, 2008

(www.sass-pants.com) — On Thursday morning, my mom sent me a text message: Why can’t you celebrate thanksgiving if when the Bible was written it hadn’t happened yet and we’re giving thanks to God? It’s a logical question since I stopped celebrating holidays mainly for religious reasons. God = religion, right? Except, there’s more to it [...]

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