sass pants

I Take Back Everything I Ever Said About Bridget Jones

December 15, 2008

(www.sass-pants.com) — What seems like a lifetime ago, I wrote a post called “Why I Could Never Be Friends With Bridget Jones.” My comments, in part: Bridget’s on the right track when she resolves to take better care of herself by cutting back on the ciggies and the booze, but the fact that she measures [...]

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Just in Time for Already-Huge Savings…

December 8, 2008

(www.sass-pants.com) — As if the deals aren’t already good enough this time of year, Macy’s contacted me to offer a coupon for an additional 20% off Macy’s purchases for Sass Pants readers! It entitles users to the same discounts enjoyed by Macy’s employees and their friends and family. You can click here for a printable [...]

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McDonald’s, Whatever Happened to Food, Folks, and Fun?

December 8, 2008

(www.sass-pants.com) — When I was a kid, we frequently recorded movies off of television and watched the tapes over and over and over. As a result, I have eerily sharp memories surrounding “the magic of Minolta,” Secret Keepers, Sylvan soft white bulbs, Bill Cosby and Jell-O Pudding, and a creepy face in the carpet selling [...]

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Why I Think Our Recent Mail Solicitation Is a Hilarious Piece of Crap

December 7, 2008

(www.sass-pants.com) — In response to my post the other day about the random solicitation we accidentally received offering us the chance to “help feed an elderly Jewish person for just $2.40,” reader TSS shared the following comments: Bizarre, but why funny? Certainly not “priceless”… It’s worth exactly 2.40. What is the name of the soliciting [...]

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I Don’t Even Know What to Call This Post, I’m Laughing so Hard

December 4, 2008

(www.sass-pants.com) — If this isn’t the most random mail solicitation on the planet, I don’t know what is. It came today in my husband’s post office box. On the back of the envelope is a testimonial from Pat Robertson, so you know it’s gotta be good. [[snort]] But seriously, nothing can beat the front: “You [...]

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No, Not Even Thanksgiving

December 3, 2008

(www.sass-pants.com) — On Thursday morning, my mom sent me a text message: Why can’t you celebrate thanksgiving if when the Bible was written it hadn’t happened yet and we’re giving thanks to God? It’s a logical question since I stopped celebrating holidays mainly for religious reasons. God = religion, right? Except, there’s more to it [...]

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If Jesus Is Your Prozac, Depression Is the Least of Your Problems

November 26, 2008

(www.sass-pants.com) — How’s this for offensive? “Jesus Is My Prozac” I was test driving my husband’s new truck when I saw that absurd statement on a sign in front of a church in Fredericksburg, VA, and I nearly ran off the road I was so aghast that anyone could possibly be so ignorant as to [...]

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The Anti-Craving: When Nothing At All Sounds Appealing

November 25, 2008

(www.sass-pants.com) — It’s well past lunchtime and I am definitely hungry, but nothing sounds appealing to me AT ALL right now. Well, that’s not true: There are five pomegranates on the counter and I want to eat them all, but that’s not exactly a nutritious meal. I should cook something, but I’m feeling very, very [...]

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I Can’t Stop Thinking About My Brother Tonight

November 25, 2008

(www.sass-pants.com) — Most days I’m fine. It’s been almost 6 years since my brother Jesse died. But tonight, I can’t get him out of my head. These nights, playing my guitar is what gets me through. Or maybe it makes it worse. I honestly haven’t decided yet. Yet. Like it just happened. But it’s been [...]

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Freecycle and Other Dangerous Passions

November 24, 2008

(www.sass-pants.com) — It’s a brilliant concept, this Freecycle, but also a horrible temptation. What? You have a non-working lawnmower you don’t need? And I can have it? For free? I’m on my way. A giant bag of sweet potatoes (ahem, ahem, tonight’s endeavor)? I’ll be there in 20 minutes. Two hundred only slightly used manila [...]

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